The day went so stressful that by night, my thoughts faded one by one, my mind needed rest and the head-ache started troubling me for the long day's work, though it was a Sunday. It was that day I realised how mental work can tired a person as well. It looked as if my mind door was closed to pave way for any thought or like a filled glass which cannot add any more water to it.
I knew what I needed. Peace. Time for me. Time to listen to my every thought. Or time for myself to communicate with harmony.
With these thoughts I moved to the verandah of my house, with the rest of them sleeping. All the lights were switched off. Sitting on the chair, I can see only two lights – one was the street light, second was of the bulb from the opposite Professor’s home. I stared at the bulb for a few minutes and then that too went out. My father told me, “By viewing bulb for a long time, u vl hypnotize urself.” I got hypnotized through it... or, was I hypnotized by the arrogant-fast-world????
With the street light that too a block away, I began to tremble. What if a ghost with white mask and black hood will pop and say, “ Aaahaaa….heee…. Am here to eat you.” Suddenly I heard a man’s voice, “I will kill you. Don’t dare to trouble me”. It was like my thoughts became real. Then I realized that it was from a drunkard talking to the wind. I thought what worse can happen to me? May be that I will be dead. And that has to happen to anyone who has entered the world. What these worries will lead to me then?? Nothing other than harming me.
Through the grills of verandah, I can see that the tree was bending over and shaking as if it agreed to my answers. The wind seemed to be the medium of communication. The tree posed like a wise man and was smiling at me for the trivial worries that I carried with me. It shook there and told, “For generations and generations, I’ve seen many people like you, who worry for nothing and then get nothing”. And thus our conversation went on. Had anybody heard me there, I would have been a certified mad.
As I thought that, mom came and asked to me to sleep. She wondered what was I doing there. I was dumbstruck and said nothing. She wore her confused expression and then hurried me to sleep.
It was the most peaceful thing I’ve ever felt. Instead of running here and there, I found my peace, my thought smoothed and flowed constantly in that silent night. There needs to be a time where one has to take time for oneself. Because you cant run away from yourself!
Apart from all these, I wonder what mom would have thought of me.. a schizophrenic?????
P.S : this is my first longest post ever!! :)